


Back to Normal... Or Not

by Rockstqr



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28183743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockstqr/pseuds/Rockstqr
Summary: Inspired by a prompt by lighterfluid.After the incident in the 11th Ward, Kaneki returns to Kami, wanting to return to normalcy. Of course, the universe doesn't feel like giving Kaneki a break.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	1. The Return

Kaneki was done with everything. Honestly. Ever since the incident with Rize, his life had fallen to shambles; it was barely a ghost of his former existence, which to be honest, was quite feeble in and of itself. Kaneki was supposed to be human, but unfortunately, things were no longer how they were supposed to be. He was an abomination - a cross between predator and prey. He wanted more than anything for things to go back to how they were before - before Jason, before Tsukiyama, even, as Kaneki reluctantly admitted to himself, before Anteiku. He wanted to go back to him and Hide. 

Oh God, what did Hide think? Kaneki had disappeared for months without warning; Hide probably hated him now. Kaneki missed him more than anything, but he simply couldn’t face him. He couldn’t face reality and certainly wasn’t prepared to answer any of the questions he knew his friend would have for him. He could already hear it - “Woah Kaneki, did you try to match me and leave the dye in too long?” “Are you on a rebellious streak or something?” “Man, I know that date went pretty rough, but it’s been months. Why don’t we go to Big Girl sometime soon and try to cheer you up?” Perhaps he was exaggerating Hide’s outgoing nature a bit. Either way, he knew that the blond would do anything to get answers. He always had a way of coaxing anything out of Kaneki. 

Avoiding his friend hadn’t been his only pursuit, however. He had also been trying to gather the courage to speak with Touka. He wasn’t sure why he was so terrified to see her. He supposed that that was because he felt like a different person. He wasn’t the innocent, black-haired teenager she had known. Kaneki didn’t want to disappoint her, and he definitely didn’t want to hurt her.

~~~~~

When Kaneki arrived at Anteiku, it was getting rather late, the sun just barely visible over the horizon. After several minutes of standing outside, staring at the door handle, Kaneki decided to just suck it up and go for it. The cafe was on the verge of locking up for the night, and Yomo was behind the counter cleaning up. He directed Kaneki to the back with a slight gesture and a glance as if to say “about time you got here, she’s back there”. 

Kaneki nodded, making his way over, nervously picking at his blackened fingernails. He knocked on the door to Touka’s room, and after a few moments, he heard footsteps, and the door creaked open slowly. He could just barely see Touka peering around the edge. He met her gaze, and it took her a moment to process him standing there. Initially, she seemed taken aback, but her face quickly switched to something less confused and more murderous. She slammed open the door and grabbed him by the shoulders, shoving him into the wall, and swung her hand back. 

A loud smack resounded in the hall. Kaneki’s face was red, his left cheek stinging from the slap, and his right cheek burning with guilt. Had there been customers downstairs, they might have been concerned. However, Kaneki knew that Yomo was alone and had probably just sighed and shaken his head as he continued to wash dirty cups from the day’s patrons. 

After a few moments, Touka’s gaze calmed slightly, seeming somewhat relieved. She stared at him, hesitating slightly. Suddenly, she dove for him, and Kaneki flinched back, expecting a punch to the gut. Surely she was going to hit him more than once? It never came, though, and he was shocked when he felt her arms latch around his torso. 

She had actually hugged him. Kaneki was definitely thankful for this turn-of-events. Despite her size, her punches hurt like hell, as Kaneki had learned very early on in their friendship. Of course, Touka had a reputation to uphold, so she had backed away from him quickly and was already heading back into her room. She didn’t shut the door, though, so Kaneki took it as an invitation to follow in behind her.

He walked in, and she directed him to the couch, looking at him expectantly. “Um”, he murmured awkwardly, “hey." He studied the shabby rug on the floor, unable to make eye contact. When no response came, he snuck a quick glance up at her, and Touka rolled her eyes. 

“Hey,” she said, then sighed, “Why’d you take so long to visit, you idiot? I was worried. I thought you’d do something stupid like try to get revenge on your own. Thanks, I guess, for not living up to my expectations.”

Kaneki didn’t know how to respond. In all actuality, Kaneki wasn’t entirely positive about what had taken him so long. He decided to dodge the question. “I… don’t think I have it in me to attempt to get revenge.” He considered his words for a moment before adding, “I killed Jason, and I regret it, even though I know he deserved it. I don’t want to take any more lives. I just,” he hesitated once more, “I just want to get my old life back. I know you probably think I’m dumb for wanting to be human, but I don’t know any other life. I don’t belong in this world.”

The girl frowned. “Kaneki,” Touka whispered, “you do belong in this world, but that doesn’t mean you have to live entirely as a ghoul. You were human. You went to school. You can go back to that.” She looked up at him sadly. “I shouldn’t have made you feel bad about it before.” 

“So what are you suggesting then?” asked Kaneki. “It’s not as if I can go back to Kami looking like… this, especially after being missing for the past few months.”

“Why not?” Touka argued. “You idiot, don’t ruin your chance, Kaneki, I’m going to school, too. In fact, the new semester is starting soon. You should talk to that little human friend of yours, and get your life back.” 

Kaneki considered this for a moment. He needed something to keep his mind busy, and Touka had a point: he shouldn’t let his circumstances get the better of him. Most importantly, he couldn’t let himself be weak. The old Kaneki was weak. He would be strong. He would face his trauma head-on - or so he hoped.

“Alright, I’ll try. But I can’t face Hide. I need more time.”

“Don’t abandon him. You’ll regret it. Take your time, but I know how awful I’d feel if I never spoke to Yoriko again.”

“I will... soon, but I need to figure out what to tell him. It’s not like I can tell him the truth.”

Touka raised her eyebrows. “Whatever you say, Kaneki. Just, don’t be dumb.”

He smiled slightly, shaking his head. Some things never change. 

~~~~~

That was how he found himself sitting in the small classroom of 40 students, tied up in a discussion with Samantha, his eccentric desk partner. He had arrived quite early, so he still had a while to wait before class would begin. The girl was rambling about her bizarre pastimes and obsessions. To be honest, she slightly reminded him of Tsukiyama. Although, Kaneki thought, she probably wasn’t interested in eating him... Probably. 

Kaneki glanced out the window, wishing that Samantha would stop talking but not wanting to offend her. Rain poured off the roof of the building next door, and Kaneki was filled with a sense of dread. Rain. Doves. Ryouko. Kaneki had failed her and Hinami. 

The old Kaneki was weak. 

Kaneki turned back around because the chatterbox sitting next to him had gone silent. He noticed the professor walking to his desk, which meant that class was about to start. How long had he been staring out the window? 

Kaneki bent over, reached into his bag, and pulled out a fresh notebook. He had always loved the feeling of opening a new notebook. Soon, the pages would be filled with the many new and interesting things he’d learn in this class. 

The professor then stood up to introduce herself, and class began. Only, as Kaneki put his pen to the page to begin his notes, the door burst open. His arm jerked to the side in surprise, leaving a pen mark across the page that Kaneki stared at in dismay, not bothering to check out the source of the commotion. He assumed it was just a late student. 

Then, he heard a voice, one he recognized, but he couldn’t place it. It was a man’s voice, and it came from the doorway. The voice was saying, “Hello everyone. I am Investigator Amon Koutarou and this is Investigator Nagachika Hideyoshi.” Kaneki’s eyes widened. 

Hide? Hide was here? His first thought: he couldn’t let Hide see him. Then it hit him, when had Hide become an investigator? 

“We are here on a tip that the Eyepatch ghoul may be on campus.” Kaneki froze. Oh no. How had they found out? He felt like smacking himself in the face. He didn’t even try to disguise himself, and he imagined that randomly showing up after going missing was more than a little suspicious. Oh God. He was going to die. He couldn’t fight Hide. Kaneki was going to die.

Kaneki finally looked up at the person speaking and was surprised to see that it was the man he had fought before - the partner of the man who killed Hinami’s mom. The investigator continued, “Everyone should try to stay calm, and keep your eyes out for anyone suspicious. He is not likely to be hostile unless provoked, so there is no need to be afraid. He will be quiet and smaller than average. Additionally, it is likely that he will have white hair and possibly an eyepatch.” Kaneki shrank at his desk. He was an idiot. “If you see anyone like this, report it to myself or my partner.”

Next to him, Samantha was frozen in her seat. She slowly turned to look at him before letting out a piercing shriek and falling out of her desk. 

Samantha sat on the floor, panicking, and crawling backward as if she thought she were mere moments away from being devoured alive. Kaneki was petrified. His classmates began turning to face him, muttering to each other in confusion. 

One by one, they began to realize that Kaneki matched the description of Eyepatch. A moment later, everything had devolved into chaos. The professor gaped at him, and students began darting for the door, trying to get as far away from him as possible. There were screams and shouts of horror, and Hide was ushering everyone out as quickly as possible. Amon was approaching him slowly like one might approach a stray dog. 

Kaneki put his head down on the desk. He was shaking. He was terrified. He never wanted this. All he had wanted to do was to return to school, and on the first day back, he was discovered by none other than his best friend. 

Kaneki tried to appear small and unthreatening, but the investigator walking toward him had his fingers resting on the button of his briefcase, ready to activate his quinque if necessary. Kaneki began to freak out. He wasn’t ready to die. He didn’t want Hide to see him like that.

The investigator, now only a few meters away from Kaneki, relaxed slightly upon realizing he wasn’t attempting to fight back. “Hey, don’t be afraid,” said the investigator in a hushed voice. Was this guy serious? The man was an investigator, and Kaneki was a ghoul. Kaneki had every reason to be afraid. “I’m Amon. I just want to speak with you, if that’s okay?” 

Kaneki saw Hide smiling at him from where he stood in front of the closed doors of the classroom. He was bewildered. They didn’t seem to be here to kill him, but he couldn’t let his guard down. “Why would you want to talk to me?” he deadpanned, trying to not let his confusion shine through.

“I want to know what you meant before when you said, “Don’t make me a killer” and also why you let me go. Surely you’ve killed before?”

This had to be a prank. This wasn’t happening. They were probably trying to lure him into a false sense of security. But it was Hide. Hide wouldn’t hurt him, right? Kaneki didn’t know anymore. Kaneki peered up, glancing left and right, unsuccessfully searching for a way out of the situation. He gulped, what he was about to say would confirm that he was a ghoul. The man, Amon, seemed honest enough, but Kaneki had never really had the best judgment when it came to trusting people. He decided to risk it. “As of now, never a human, but when we fought I had never killed a ghoul either.”

Amon looked shocked. “How is that even possible? What?” Kaneki opened his mouth to answer but was cut off. “Nevermind. We’ll talk later. Let Hide explain himself, then we have a proposal for you.”

On cue, Hide spoke up. “So, I know I never told you I joined the CCG, and I’m sorry, but I only did it to protect you.” 

“What?” Kaneki asked. What was Hide thinking? “How would that even work? How can you protect me by killing ghouls?”

Hide sheepishly responded, “I hadn’t exactly planned to become an investigator.” He glanced at Amon. “I was an intern, but you know how I always play detective?” Kaneki nodded, getting the gist of where this was going. He internally facepalmed. “Well, I was tracking a suspicious guy, and I  _ might _ have stumbled upon the Aogiri base in the 11th ward.”

Kaneki really did facepalm at that; it sounded exactly like something Hide would do. “Anyway,” Hide continued, “the investigator that killed the ghoul that, uh, murdered my father… um, he recognized me, and he has quite a bit of pull in the CCG. So, here we are.”

“Okay… you mentioned a deal though. What do you mean by that?”

“Well, that guy I mentioned - he likes me a lot, maybe a bit too much, and I’m 99% sure that if I asked, you could get approved to train to be an investigator with me.”

Kaneki had a hard time believing that. What kind of lunatic would let a random college student, let alone a ghoul, enroll in something like that? However, he buried his doubt and instead responded with, “Why would I ever want to do that, Hide? Practically everyone there would kill me for merely existing.”

“It’s obvious. They don’t search for ghouls within their own ranks. That’d be ridiculous. No ghoul would ever be able to get a position at the CCG because of all of the testing they do, of course, excluding you.” Kaneki frowned. This seemed like an awful idea. He had no idea why Hide would propose such a thing. Hide then added, “And if you don’t, Amon-san technically has to report you. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to force you into this, but I think it’s for the best.”

Kaneki didn’t much appreciate the decision being made for him, but he realized that he had no other options besides killing them both now and becoming a fugitive. Obviously, he didn’t want to do that. He gave up. “Alright, fine. I don’t like it, but I’ll come with you.”

“Great!” exclaimed Hide, “Let’s get going then, oh, and I’ll go tell your professor and classmates that this was a misunderstanding.” Kaneki was grateful, but he was pretty sure the damage had already been done. 

Hide went out ahead of them and came back in followed by the professor and Kaneki’s classmates. “Everything has been cleared up. Kaneki will need to come with us to fill out some paperwork because of our mistake, but he is not being charged for anything.” He winked at Kaneki. “Our apologies for the inconvenience.” Several of the students let out sighs of relief but still glared at Kaneki suspiciously, Samantha among them. 

Amon directed Kaneki to the door. Outside, the rain had stopped, and the air was only slightly chilly. The three walked across the campus, and none noticed the man peering through his glasses at them from afar. 


	2. The CCG

They arrived at the CCG’s 20th ward branch office, and Kaneki was more than slightly terrified. Worries residing in the back of his mind reminded him of the very real possibility that he had been tricked and was now being led to his demise. After all, he was relying on two ghoul investigators to keep his secret. Being a ghoul wasn’t exactly a forgivable offense, and if it was discovered that anyone knew about him, they could be punished just as harshly as if they were ghouls too.

The three entered the building, and the investigators headed straight through the RC detectors without a second thought. After all, it wasn’t every day that you tried to sneak a ghoul into the CCG. It was just a habit to ignore them and move on - only ghouls needed to worry. Kaneki, oblivious as he was, didn’t notice their presence and trailed behind Hide, keeping his head down and avoiding eye contact with everyone in the vicinity. Hide, realizing at the last second that the RC detectors would detect Kaneki, turned and panicked, but Kaneki had already stepped through.

Nothing happened. 

Kaneki passed through as easily as any human. 

The blond was confused but decided to reserve that conversation for later. He couldn’t risk mentioning it inside the building. Any private conversation, really, should be reserved for somewhere that isn't the CCG. It was impossible to know if someone was listening - there were hidden cameras and microphones everywhere. 

Kaneki fell into step, a pace behind the two, as they navigated the many hallways and offices. It wouldn’t be difficult to get lost in this place. One wrong turn and you’d practically end up halfway across the building from your destination. It made his head spin. If he got ambushed, he wouldn’t be able to find his way out. Kaneki’s skin prickled at the thought. They approached a sliding glass door. The glass was opaque, however, so Kaneki was unable to see into the room.

Hide turned to him. "This is the guy I was talking about. He can be a bit… how do I put it…” Hide paused, “he can be cold - particularly around strangers. Just stand behind me and do what you usually do. I’ll talk to him.”

Kaneki furrowed his eyebrows. He assumed Hide was telling him to not insert himself into the conversation. It occurred to him that he should probably feel insulted, but he acknowledged that Hide had a point. He was quite concerned, however, by the fact that Hide felt the need to mention the man’s cold character. Why did Hide think this was such a good idea again? It didn’t sound like a very good idea to him. Kaneki trusted his friend, but Hide had always been somewhat ambitious and overly optimistic, to say the least. He just hoped this wouldn’t get either of them killed.

Kaneki nodded in response after briefly considering whether or not it might be better to just turn around and turn himself in. Hide flashed him a wide grin before turning and knocking on the door. Amon just stood to the side observing their dynamic, seeming mildly intrigued.

“What is it?” A curt voice snapped through the brief silence, passing through the door. Kaneki’s eyes widened. _This_ was the man that was supposed to help him? 

Kaneki then realized that Hide never really told him anything substantial about the man’s position at the CCG. He must have been a bit more influential than Kaneki had originally assumed if he were comfortable talking like that to someone unknown.

Hide didn’t seem phased. “Hey, Special Class Arima, the friend I was telling you about is here to meet you.”

No response came.

Hide turned to him, giving him a thumbs-up, before sliding the door open quickly. Unfortunately for Hide, he was a bit too rough, and it bounced back hitting him in the knee with a clang. Hide let out a quiet hiss.

Kaneki sighed at his friend's antics, looking past him into the plain office. The man inside sat in a black office chair behind a desk that was empty barring a mug and a small stack of paper, presumably some sort of paperwork. He watched them blankly through his glasses, raising an eyebrow at the bleach blond currently stumbling his way into the room with a pout and a huff.

Hide soon recovered, smiling sheepishly at the investigator, Arima, before settling into a chair. The man had stark white hair, reminding Kaneki of his own, and he shivered involuntarily. Kaneki thought it was rather presumptuous of his friend to bust in and sit down, but he shrugged it off. However, he was horrified when Hide thought it a good idea to lean back and put his feet on the desk, only a short distance from the investigator’s face. Kaneki feared for Hide’s wellbeing - and his own. Only, the man didn’t react, behaving as if it were a normal occurrence. After a moment of contemplation, Kaneki realized it might’ve been; it had been a while since he had last seen Hide. At that moment, it truly hit him that his friend was not only in cahoots with the CCG but also close with one of the higher-ups. Up until that point, it hadn’t really seemed real.

Hide seemed totally at ease, and it freaked Kaneki out. “This is Kaneki,” Hide began, “the one we spoke about before - with the special circumstances. You remember, right? You said you can get him a position?”

Arima looked up at Kaneki with a calculating stare and nodded once. “Yes, I believe that shouldn’t be a problem. Although, it’ll likely be on a very strict trial basis.” The man seemed to be analyzing him, searching for... something. It made him uncomfortable, but he didn’t dare speak up. “They’ll need to make sure he’s cut out for this type of work.” The man directed his next words toward Kaneki. “You’ll need to prove that you’re capable of this. Rank 3 Nagachika thinks highly of you. I expect that if you happen to be a disappointment, it won’t reflect well on him.” He squints at Kaneki. “We wouldn’t want that. I am quite fond of him, after all.”

Kaneki tried for a small smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Was that a threat? It sounded a bit like a threat. “Yes, sir. I’ll, uh, I’ll do my best.” 

The man nodded and waved his hand dismissively as if he were telling them to go away. It didn’t seem to hold any malice, however, and for that, Kaneki was relieved. 

Hide hopped up and followed Kaneki and Amon out of the office, a pleased smile on his face. “See!” he exclaimed, “that wasn’t so bad!” Kaneki wanted to disagree, but he was just grateful to be alive. 

“Who was that?” What does he do?” Kaneki asked timidly. 

“Oh! That was Arima. He’s pretty cool. He’s probably the strongest investigator of his generation. I don’t know of anyone that can match him.” Hide thought for a moment, “They call him the Reaper.” Catching sight of Kaneki’s pale, panicked expression, he added, “Don’t worry, he’s not all that bad once you get to know him. He’s a bit closed off, but he can be pretty caring at times.” Kaneki doubted that but decided not to argue. He recognized the name, and he knew that Arima was a very dangerous man. He would just have to be extra _extra_ careful around him. 

Amon finally spoke up. “Is now a good time to talk?” 

Kaneki thought it over before nodding his head. Hide began leading them toward a back entrance, so they could have an unmonitored conversation and avoid the RC detectors on the way out. Hide reminded himself to speak with Kaneki about that but decided to let Amon and Kaneki have some privacy for the time being. 

Kaneki continued to walk behind them; he didn’t know where he was going, so it only seemed natural. However, he began questioning if that was a good idea when he felt a tap on his right shoulder. He turned to look, but no one was there. Confused, he turned the other way, only to see a small, but familiar-looking, androgynous male with what looked like thread sewn into him. As soon as he turned, the boy, who couldn’t have been much older than himself, grabbed his hand and giggled while stuffing something into it. Bewildered, Kaneki looked to see what the boy had given him, only to realize that it was money: three thousand yen. What? When he looked back up, the boy was out of sight, and Kaneki turned back around to see Hide and Amon several meters ahead of him. It seemed that they hadn’t noticed his abrupt stop. He sped up a bit to catch up with them but decided against mentioning the boy or the money. It was too bizarre for his tastes - almost as bizarre as a ghoul working for the CCG. 

~~~~~

They soon arrived at the door leading outside, and Hide mumbled something about paperwork with a frown before heading off, leaving Amon and Kaneki alone. 

Without preamble, Amon pushed open the door and led Kaneki to a park across the street, settling onto a bench and allowing Kaneki the chance to get comfortable. 

“May I ask you some questions?” Kaneki seemed nervous, so he added, “you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to. I just don’t exactly understand why I’m not dead.”

“I’ve already told you: I don’t kill,” Kaneki deadpanned.

“That’s not possible. You have to eat.”

“Suicide victims.”

“What?”

“I eat… suicide victims.” Kaneki realized too late that he probably shouldn’t have said that. If this really was a ruse, he could have put the others from Anteiku in danger. However, any potential damage had already been done.

“So you defile their bodies.” Amon huffed, offended.

“Better than harming the living.” Kaneki shrugged. 

“Not by much,” Amon replied, rolling his eyes.

“For me, it’s either that or starve. I don’t exactly enjoy it.” That shut Amon up. “Anything else?”

“Why don’t you kill?”

“Because it’s wrong.”

“I’ve never heard of a ghoul caring about what’s wrong.” Amon looked taken aback. 

Kaneki understood where the man was coming from. He too had once believed that ghouls were nothing but monsters, so he said it. “Ghouls aren’t all bad. I used to think that too. Many just want to survive - feed their families, you know?”

“Why would you think ghouls are bad if you’re a ghoul?”

Moment of truth. “I wasn’t always.” 

Amon just stared at him as if he were insane. 

“No, actually. This is a bit of a recent development.”

Amon was speechless, not believing what he was hearing. If the kid kept this up, he’d have to turn him in after all. “How?” he asked hesitantly.

“Kidney transplant gone wrong.” Amon’s forced-calm expression finally budged, morphing into something filled with horror. “Before that, Hide and I would always go to Big Girl for burgers. I really loved burger steak.”

“Can you please explain?”

“Well, it was always so tender and juic-”

“Not the burger steak.”

“Oh…” he trailed off. Kaneki debated internally whether or not to tell him. He figured everything he had already said would be incriminating enough. _Why not_ , he thought. “I was a victim of the binge eater.” Amon’s eyes widened. “I was actually on a date with her, and right before she was gonna kill me, a steel beam fell on us, and we were taken to the hospital.”

Recognition dawned on Amon’s face. He had heard on the news about a steel beam falling and crushing two college students. There had been a major controversy over the transplant which was not consented to by any parties involved. “Supposedly the doctor gave me her kidney. Although, I’m skeptical - not gonna lie. When I woke up, burger steak tasted like dirt and maggots.”

Amon was surprised but was also inclined to believe him. This shocked him deeply. Everything the boy had said lined up perfectly with what he already knew and what Hide had told him. His phone buzzed as he received a text message, and he stood up suddenly. Kaneki jumped up to join him, following him back into the building they had left only 15 minutes earlier. 

Amon swung around to face him once they were inside. “You’ve been approved on a trial basis. The special class really is a miracle worker. We’ll need to go consult with your future instructors."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took much longer than expected. Christmas was very chaotic, but I'm happy to get this out. 
> 
> All of the comments you guys left on the last chapter were so sweet - they made my day :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic, and any feedback is appreciated - just keep criticism constructive. Thank you so much for reading, and thanks to lighterfluid for the prompt. 
> 
> I'll try to update semi-regularly, but I am still in school and quite busy!


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